10  No-Bullshit Tips to More Tips:

 A Real-World Guide to Fattening Your Wallet

  1. Read the Room: If customers want quiet, just serve them and shut it. They’re there for their friends or dates, not your life story.
  2. Don’t Look Like a Slob: Even if you’re not winning any beauty contests, clean yourself up. Nobody wants service from someone who looks or smells like they don’t give a damn.
  3. Crack a Fucking Joke: Lighten the mood with some humor. It can save your ass when you mess up a little.
  4. Own Your Shit: Made a mistake? Don’t blame the kitchen or bar. Own up, apologize, and fix it. People respect honesty, even when you fuck up.
  5. Know Your Shit: Be an expert on what you’re serving. The more you know, the better you look, and the better the tips.
  6. Use Their Names: People love hearing their names. Remember them . It makes them feel special and not just another face in the crowd.
  7. Give Good Service: Seems obvious, but you’d be surprised. Good service equals good tips. Period.
  8. Keep Your Spirits Up: Your mood can make or break your tips. Find a way to stay cheerful, even if it’s just for show.
  9. Suggest the Good Stuff: Recommend your favorite dishes or drinks. It shows you know your shit and helps customers have a better experience.
  10. Upsell, but Don’t Be a Dick About It: Suggest the pricier stuff when it makes sense. Do it right, and it’s about making their experience better, not just hiking up the bill.

There you have it, ten solid, no-BS tips to help you rake in more tips. Remember, this isn’t just about looking the part—it’s about being the part. Be genuine, be knowledgeable, and for fuck’s sake, be good at what you do. And for those cheap bastards who don’t tip well no matter what? Fuck’em. You’re there for the ones who appreciate and reward your exceptional service.