Thursday, January 4, 2024
Dear Erica,
I Recently Left A Restaurant Because The Gm Was Complaining That I Get Paid Too Much Because I Also Work A Second Job In Technology.
During The Meeting, I Was Asked Questions About My Family. The Gm Asked, "Why Don't You Just Pull Your Daughter Out Of Daycare?" Or "Can't Your Wife Pick Up More Shifts?”
I Felt These Were Inappropriate. To Say That I'm Hurt And Offended Is An Understatement.
– Moonlighting in Technology
Dear Moonlighting in Technology,
Sometimes companies, even those in hospitality and food and beverage, fail at teaching their managers how to be managers. They fail at how to be hospitable humans. They fail at teaching them how to communicate.
Her questions about your personal life were completely inappropriate. I understand why you would be offended.
Yet, they were not illegal. More importantly, it would not have been illegal for you not to answer them. If a manager asks you inappropriate questions about your personal life, I recommend that you politely decline to respond.
If they insist, find out why that information is important. It could help determine if they are asking questions for discriminatory or unlawful reasons.
